2014 A New Year

Hello world, yes i know I haven't written in 9 months, thanks for the reminder. I don't have a specific topic so i'll just let my mind do the talking. Well I've been in a relationship for almost 7 months with a Vietnamese guy, yea who would have ever thought i had yellow fever!? haha. He's great, treats me good and I'm happy with him but like in every relationship, you have your down moments. I can't tell you that he's "the one" but i can say that I'm happy with him right now and i'm just trying to take it one day at a time. I'm about to turn 25 next month!! A quarter of a century as they say. So many things going through my head. Sometimes i feel like i'm running out of time. My family keeps asking, "when are you getting married?" "when are you having kids?" .... pause! I'm not ready for kids, i don't think i want any. Marriage...i do want it eventually but i want to find the right guy and have no doubt in my mind that he's the one i'm meant to be with.
I left Toshiba last August, went to work for Xylem for 30 days and landed another job at BAF as a Buyer. It's incredible how in that transition i went up $22k in salary. You have no idea the feeling i got, kind of like winning the lottery. I moved to downtown Dallas so i can scratch that off my bucket list. I love living so close to the city and it's basically a dream come true...almost. Well i don't know what else to write at the moment and i'm at work so let me get back to work and you'll hear from me in a few months.

Forgiving is easy, forgetting...not so much

Hey world, Happy April Fools Day. I was going to start this blog differently but since it's April Fools Day, here's a food for thought....have you ever forgiven someone that hurt you so badly but you can't forget what they did. Is there such a thing as forgiving and forgetting?? Or am i a fool for not forgetting? Yes it says in the Bible that we should forgive "seventy times seven" therefore we shouldn't limit our forgiveness but do we actually forget? I don't think so. Some wounds are just too deep. This is not a sappy sob story about a guy hurting a girl. This is a girl hurting her best friend and i'll tell you a little about it so u could understand. We were closer than peanut butter and Jelly. We finished off each other sentences, we lived together for 2 years. She was my husband and i was her wife. My partner in crime....my everything, you name it. She knew me better than i knew myself and she picked me up every time i was down. Everything started to change when a specific guy came along and made her change. He had her right where he wanted and i could not stand him. This made our friendship change. I should of been supportive but i just couldn't stand to see her go thru heartaches for several years over this one douchebag! After a while i decided to change my life and move to NY. We still kept in contact but a few months after moving, she had an accident that almost left her paralyzed and i was about to rush back to FL but then i got the news that her surgery had gone well...thank God! Before moving, i was in a year long relationship but i broke it off due to certain things that happened which i won't get into. Cutting to the chase, i hurt this guy and he hit me where it would hurt the most... my twin (no I'm not gay & no i did not cheat lol). He stood by her side the whole time and feelings began to progress. She hid it from me for half a year and on Jan 1st, she came clean about their relationship. I was furious, bitter, hurt, heartbroken. Like helloooo, what happened to girl code!!! Took me a while but i finally forgave her and wished her the best. Here's the point to this story, i never forgot how much it hurts to loose a friend. I tried so many times to build our relationship again but eventually you need to learn to fall back and move on. She wants nothing to do with me out of fear for her now husband, that he'd see me and catch feelings or that i might try to rekindle things. Not my style. I NEVER go back. Mark my words! I just miss her. I miss having a best friend, i miss having a go to girl. I'm still hurt about the whole situation and i guess I'm the fool who hasn't moved on cause she seems to be doing great. It's easy to forgive someone but it's not easy to forget and i haven't. Maybe it's because I'm still longing for a miracle to happen and we could go back to being friends. We've spoken a few times but she's very standoffish towards me which upsets me cause she's not the one that got backstabbed, i did. Not trying to play the victim but damn, I've tried so many times and all she says is "one step at a time." I believe people are placed in your life for a reason and maybe this was to teach me not to take my friends for granted but geez, what a hell of a lesson which i did not learn. Instead i pushed myself away from ppl and completely stopped trusting. I try giving ppl the benefit of the doubt but i still have trust issues. After debating this for so long, i decided to erase her completely out of my life. I don't even want to remember the memories and good times we had because that alone gets my eyes watery every time. It hurts that bad. Why chase after ppl who want nothing to do with you. Only makes you a fool right?

There i finally had the guts to release at least half of what I've been holding in for the past 2 years.. Lame i know. Until next time... Don't be a fool!!

On the right track choo choo lol

Hello world. Remember me? Yea it has been forever. So many things have happened since i last wrote back in October. I pushed a few people out of my life and got closer to others. I've met a few more, some that continue to influence my life in a positive way & others who are a constant reminder as to why i choose to be single. On a previous post, i wrote about a woman's desire for the "bad boys." Not sure if i went into details but truth is, i had my bad boy lingering around & i could not be anymore grateful that that association is done. A few months ago, i got slapped with reality that i should not lower my standards, i should not settle, and that i NEED to stop being so nice to the people who can't even show they care about you. Although it hurt to lose that friendship, it was not healthy & taught me yet another lesson. As my motto goes, no regrets just lessons. I wasted a year and a half with someone who i wasn't even dating & at the end he just turned out to be cruel and inconsiderate. Not exactly the guy i had first met. After that was done, i decided to go on a few dates & after being catered to a few times, i realized i needed to be single lol. In a course of 2 months, i went on so many dinner dates it wasn't even funny. I was exhausted to be honest haha. Before this year, my desire was to find that ONE guy that i could share everything with. A best friend, a lover, that person that could always crack my smile, push me to success and bring out the best in me. It's always nice to have that one guy but i realized I'm still young and have a whole life to live. I always said i wouldn't settle down till i accomplished my goals and i drifted off for a little but I'm back on track. Right now at 24, i love the life I'm living but I'm not ready to settle down, get married and have kids. No no, till I'm close to my goal salary (100k), or realistically at least half of that, I'm not ready to settle. The right guy will come along without forcing anything. Nature will take its course and hey, maybe i already met him and God is just molding him into the man i want but i won't know till later. Hopefully things work out in my favor but you never know. I could probably trip at the mall later, have some stranger catch me at the escalator & next thing we know, we're saying our "I Do's" lol. Life has a funny way of showing things and teaching us lessons. One thing is for sure, I'm not rushing into anything besides working on myself and this business proposition i came across. It's me time.

Until next time world!

S.L.A.C.K.E.R !

Yea so it's been months since I've written on this blog but recently I've had so much on my mind that I need to release a few things. While reading Cosmo, I came across an article that asked, "Is Your Life Where You Want It To Be?" Also, last night my sis came over we were talking about getting older and it finally hit me that I'm 23 years old! In 5 months I'll be 24!! And then the big 25!!! Yikes!!! I see most people my age with kids, getting married, some still living at home, others finishing up their bachelors or masters, some not doing anything with their life and others already successful. While yes, I'm independent since I left the "nest" at 21, I still don't have everything I want in life. I'm content but I'm realizing that that's not enough because I want more. Call me selfish or whatever but there is nothing wrong with wanting more. I think moving to Texas and just focusing on myself rather than relationships with others has helped me to get a little stable. Something that I wanted for a long time. I've had to sacrifice friendships but in the end, the people that are meant to stay in your life, will stay in your life. Also, I've come to realize the importance of family. In high school all my focus was on the "love" life, friendships and having fun. It all comes to an end tho. Distance can break or bond together relationships. When I say family, I mean my parents. That annoying couple that only want what's best for me and love me regardless of what I do and put up with my "rebellious" attitude. That couple that I wouldn't trade for the world. Moving out helped me build a relationship with them. If you've known me long enough, you know the strict home I lived in and how I was 21 with an 11 pm curfew and how lying to them was normal. Now I can gladly say that I don't deny anything they ask even tho they get mad at some of the things I do lol. Anyways, I drifted to another conversation (told ya I had a lot in my mind). I'm 23 and I've contemplated on settling on certain things in life but there's a few things that I've lost sight of and I need to get back on track to. Like the main reason why I left the nest was to become independent, have my car, my apt, a good job and still be able to spoil myself. It's all a working process and I've made progress slowly but surely. I didn't want a man helping me and so far I haven't needed one :)

Another lonely Valentines...

Okay so the big Vday is 2 weeks away and I'm feeling certain type of way because i don't have that special somebody to wine and dine me. I'm not bitter btw. Yess I admit I'm jealous of those cute couples that have been together for a long time and still stand strong. Just those couples. If you know me, you know I've been in a few relationships and they were all just flings. Something for the moment to entertain me till i got bored and on to the next...i know it sounds pretty bad but the fear of being alone was always empowering till a little over a year ago when i finally came into my senses and realized that before i loved anyone else, i had to love and respect myself first. I had to know who i was and what i wanted in a man not just stick to any guy that will give you that attention you long for. They say the first wound is always the deepest and in my case, it really changed me. It made me angry towards guys and gave me a low self-esteem to the point that i made many mistakes because all i wanted was attention and i really didnt care who it was from. (Yea huuge mistake!) A wise friend used to always tell me, "with every relationship you have, if it didn't work out, make sure you learn from them." And yes my past has taught me very valuable lessons. I could of easily avoided lots of heart-breaks, fights, tears, wasted time, confusion and even money but you see, I'm the hardheaded type of girl. People always warned but i never wanted to listen so i did whatever i wanted to do. I wouldn't think about the future and if i did, i was oblivious about how things would end up. I lived in lala land per say and had this image of how i wanted things to end knowing deep down inside that it would end bad. Yea living for the moment type of attitude. As much fun as that can be, that fun moment turns into heartaches eventually. That in turn is what results in coldhearted people and having major trust issues. So with that being said, if you're reading this and you just so happen to be an ex or just someone i flirted with for a little, i wanted to apologize if i ever hurt you in any way. People don't go into a relationship with a mindset of wanting to hurt others. I'm sorry for the fights, the yelling, the disrespect and so on. I'm far from perfect and whatever wrong actions i made in the past were just part of immaturity. I am now about to be 23 and after being single for so long, I'm learning that its okay to be alone. I'm tired of wasting my time and giving a piece of my heart to every guy that approaches me. I'll just wait patiently because its better to be alone than with bad company. Someday I'll get that big, cheesy bear with the pink bow from walmart that I've been dying for since i first seen it back in 2007. Someday I'll get a bouquet of flowers delivered to my job. One day a guy will take me out on a date to a fancy dinner, movie and a walk around town/beach. Just the two of us... and I'll remember why i fell in love with him in the first place. At 23 years old, i now have an image of what man i want in a man and I'm not settling till he comes my way.
For now I'll probably take my sister up on her idea of sending each other anonymous flowers to each others jobs to feel special lol smh...pathetic i know but hey, we're girls :)

While I've been writing this blog, I've had one song stuck in my head which is kind of irrelevant but as i was browsing for it, another one caught my attention. A classic, enjoy....

Watch "Dr. Evil - Just The Two Of Us (Austin Powers)" on YouTube

Badboys...

Hey world,

So i went out last night with some friends, had a good time and i met this guy. I didn't bother giving him my number even tho he seemed like a good guy. All the girls were saying that he was cute and we looked cute together...hmm. So I'm sitting on my bed waiting for my sis to get ready so we can leave to the mall and it hits me....Why do we girls go for the badboys? Is it the chase? Is it the swag? Or are do we simply enjoy being treated as if we're not that important? Yesss women are confusing (i speak for myself) but why do we let a good thing slide by and focus on the guy thats just keeping us around for the moment? In reality, no girl will ever truly have a legit answer because even the answers we give sound stupid. Here comes the player guy, swagged out, got the right words, buys us a drink, makes us smile and in the back of our heads we know this guy is playing games but yet we STILL AGREE to give him our number!!! Smh! Guilty:) lol. I met this one guy and he kept flirting with me, i knew he was playing games but i continued to flirt and we were gonna meet up but funny thing is, the night that we were suppose to chill, he never answered. I went out with my girl and shockingly i ran into this dude. HE WAS WITH ANOTHER GIRL!!! So why did i get upset when i knew what this guy was about? We're attracted to the bad boys! Is it because we know that at some point this bad guy was a good guy till he got screwed over by an ex? Girls are assholes too (Guilty once again). I had something good but to me, it wasn't good enough so i let it go. Broke their heart but you can't force yourself to be with a good guy if you're not happy. Sorry...drifting into another post...I'm just saying tho. Where were we...oh yea there's this guy, i won't mention any names but he's such an asshole to me. He admits to it too so why do i keep him around!?? He's not worth the trouble. He's a good friend and has helped me out a lot but i don't think i deserve his treatment. A few weeks ago i decided i wouldnt let him get to me anymore and I'm sticking to that. I don't wanna argue with anyone and i only want positive vibes around me. So i leave you with this, if a guy is treating you like you're just another girl or he's not respecting you( even if he says he's kidding, there's a boundary), ask yourself...."Is this guy truly worth the trouble?" Is it worth putting you down, making you feel low and chasing after him constantly? Is it? I mean really. I'm not saying drop him and never speak to him again but keep him at a distance. Keeping him too close will keep that good guy from approaching you :)

I hope this post helps someone out and hopefully no guy or girl got offended. The same goes for "badgirls." This is Jeanette Funes speaking her mind and if you know me, you know I'm a bit blunt.

I wish you good luck if you're going through something similar...

Bucket List...

So it's been a while since i posted anything but to start off this new year, I promise i'll try to write more posts.

Inspired (& forced to publicise) by this fun guy named Victor, i have decided to create a list of things i want to accomplish before i die. Some will get done before i turn 25. I'll make a note on those*. Hopefully by publicizing this list, I'm forced to get them done. I don't wanna let myself or anyone down so here we goooo.....

1. Swim with sharks
2. Sky dive
3. Scubba dive in Australia
4. Own a townhouse
5. Make over $100 k.
6. Own a franchise/start a business
7. Bunjee jump
8. Degree*
9. Invisalign*
10. Lexus*
11. Ride in motorcycle*
12. Apt in downtown Dallas/ las Colinas*
13. Tone body*
14. Puerto Rico*
15. California*
16. Brazil
17. Dubai
18. Save a life: donate a kidney
19. Take dad to the Amazon
20. Take mom to the Dead Sea in Jerusalem
21. Get married! Yea eventually...

These should be enough for now. 2012 will be a great year but for now, let me get back to work. I'm gonna need this money to accomplish most of these. Until next time.... #Take Care :)